Peeping policeman

Officer Pablo Casablancas has sent me a mass of puns this week as we realised that I hadn't been receiving them via text. I hope no-one else has been texting pictures to me to no reply, thinking me quite the tosspot. It's the 21st Century people.. Email does exist.



Don't worry, I've kicked off with the weakest just to warm you up. It's chillybubs out there! I should know, I was barefoot in Richmond Park this afternoon. Lack of forsight from myself there, perhaps.



I thought I'd been sent this one before, but it's just that I remembered walking past it on several occasions when up at London's South Bank. I haven't eaten there yet though. I'm only a newcomer to the whole concept of raw fish, so maybe I'll wait it out.



Yes pie minister! Hope the people at Twitter haven't seen this packaging though. The designer in me is saying "that looks just like the Twitter bird, and the swatch is awfully close to their blue!" And you can cock off calling me a nerd. I saw you queuing up at midnight for the new Call of Duty. Yes you, Mr Xbox 720 with the lights of death and all that.



Here's the real delight of the bunch. Just one little "n" has taken a regular pub notice and made it a piece of literary joy. Bravo White Line. Bravo inndeed.

TFI Punday 5 - #kitchenfilms

Monday's punning was our most succesful one to date! Well, the most popular at least, but I'd call it a success. I certainly had a few belly laughs, and taht's quite an effort at the moment, as I've been doing more eating and less running of late, so the paunch is a little merrier than usual.

You may have not needed that picture.

To change the subject, lets talk #kitchenfilms! That was this weeks topic, and that's what you sent me in your droves. I'm not numbering these anymore, cause people seem to think it's a competition. And although some are obviously better than others, you're all winners in my one-dimensional book!

Here's the cream:

One Flew Over The Cooker's Nest
Grillers In The Mist
Monster Sink
The Italian Hob
The Goodt, The Bad & The Mugtree
Griddle Shop of Horrors
Plate Expectations
Pyrex of The Carribean
Oh Tupper, Ware Art Thou?
Teatowel Recall
The Grater Scape
To Kilner Mockingbird
Scooperman
Black Fork Down
The Hand That Rocks The Ladle
Wok The Line
The Breville Wears Prada
Dishclosure
My Best Friends Breadbin
Saturday Night Cleaver
Spatula Party
Full Kettle Jacket
Deathwhisk
Unitensil Soldier
Cruet Intentions
Collander Girls
Bram Stoker's Spatula
Captain Corelli's Mandoline
Sieve The Last Dance
Fantastic Mr Forks
Inglorious Basters
Oven Cowgirls Get The Blues
Fork ings
Breville Without a Cause
Indesit Proposal
Kindergarden Cup
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Flagon

Phew! You've done youselves proud! All I came up with was It's a Wonderful Knife, but I have been busy this week, for a change. So up yours! No, I don't mean that. Sorry.

A wee bonnet lad

At the pub the other day, Dr Dave proudly unzipped his top to reveal his most recent purchase from the Sunday Up Market, which the eagle eyed among you will realise is a pun in itself! Well, Dave and Eliza are quite the swanky pair, so it is not lost on them, don't you worry.



Just take a look at how much unbridled joy a fiver can buy you. And in these times of uncertainty and tabloid driven doom and gloom, who wouldn't like a slice of that emotion for such a cheap price?

Vin driving

Ladies and gents, we have ourselves a paradox here of potentially unintentional means. What's Steve found us?



Let's dissect. If they did intend the pun, then they're basically asking for you to go in and annoy them while purchasing your favourite tipple. But who wants that? If they didn't mean it, and you went in to wind them up, then they'd have to change the name to Don't Wine Me Up. But then it'd be like they don't actually want you to come in.. Oh the humanity!

All we are saying...

Oh how I've been searching for this one! And my good buddy Pete has done me justice and snapped it up for me, like the true gentleman he is:



Funny how it's a place that is based on chickpeas that uses it as a tagline, but I suppose a hummus shop needs all the help it can get.

#ShopHorror

Shop shop horror horror, shop shop horror!
Wow, Space weren't very good, were they? I'm sure I used to like that album.

More important business to attend to than reminiscing about mediocre Liverpudlian indie outfits though, my friends. Yes, TFI Punday reared it's ugly head once more to brighten up the post Halloween weekend blues with a good old game of #shophorror.

So, how did you do?

[20] Harvey Nicghouls
[19] BOO!ts
[18] Hellfridges
[17] Costa Coffin
[16] Nightmarican Apparel
[15] Carphone Scarehouse
[14] Spooksavers
[13] Diemark
[12] Deadenhams
[11] Ikillya
[10] Screaman Hardy Willis
[09] Motherscare
[08] Howlfords
[07] Horrorthy Perkins
[06] Marks & Spectres
[05] Disembody Shop
[04] Soul Trader
[03] Abezombie And Witch
[02] I Know What You Did Last Somerfields
[01] Lidle Shop of Horrors

Not as much activity as previous week. Though I suspect the new layout of Facebook which is making everyone cry like little tiny babies with scraped knees may be something to do with that. We'll see.

I could only come up with a couple worth typing, to be honest:

Wolfworths
Slaughterstones
Jane Slasher

Good grief. Let's just get back to you lot sending me photos, yeah?

TFI Punday 4: The Dream Master

BOO!

Did I get you? No, probably not. But at least your attention has been suitably grabbed so that you can join in once again with everyone's favourite gag-based day at the office.

Yes, TFI Punday returns this week with a festive theme! I realise All Hallow's Eve has been and gone, but I couldn't let it pass without giving you lot the opportunity to tip your punning hats to it! And so, I present you with TFI Punday 4:

#shophorror

Everday shops and supermarkets crossed horrifically with scary bits n bobs. So, for example:

AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGG!os
Shriekaway
Sainsbury your dead

So fly, my pretties. Scare me and tickle me in here, on Facebook and Twitter (tagged with #shophorror). Muahahahahaha!

Estate of independence

Ellen found me this one in Newcastle last week, but didn't think it was very good! Oh how wrong she was:



Granted, it's a classic case of an estate agent blowing their own trumpet, but I'm going to let them off, because it is a good one. Plus, my brother's an estate agent, and he's alright I guess.

Training day

I feel like I've been on trains a lot this week. And don't the just bombard you with adverts on there? Up and down the escalators, in the carraiges, on the platforms, I'm surprised the ticket inspectors aren't taught a spiel by Comet for every time you have to show him you aren't bunking.

But, this is of course a wonderful place for puns of all shapes and sizes to hide, as Gary found out when using good old South West Trains this week.



Perfect punning there, and an ideal opportunity for advertisers to once again bring up that pphoto of Hugh that we may otherwise have forgotten about. Ah, the golden boy of British cinema, eh.

I'm pretty shocked that no-one had spotted this one and sent me it though:



Multi-punning of the highest order, and the size of an Elephant and Castle! Come on people, spot it yourself and you could be Tooting your own horn!

Nepalling taste

While travelling through Nepal, Kerry spotted this roof top café and took a photo of it, even though she's never read my blog! Thankfully her brother, the wonderful Dunk does.



I bet it's rocking in there! I heard the menu isn't as good as it was in the 80's though.