Quarry about it later

I think it's important within the confines of what I'm putting out here to try and let you know how my brain works. I hope it doesn't put people off talking to me.

Every day, ALL day (and I promise this is true), my brain is thinking of puns. Particularly in conversation. Now, this does not mean I'm not listening. I'm not trying to say I'm so spectacularly super-human that I can hold a conversation while thinking of something else entirely at the same time, but it happens.

There's a type of word called a portmanteau, which is "a word formed by blending sounds from two or more distinct words and combining their meanings." A common example would be ginormous (a combination of giant and enormous). Before this turns into a linguistics lesson I'll get back to my point; my mind is constantly searching for portmanteaus, without me actually trying. I've irritated people before when they've told me about their "funky uncle", by stopping them to say "you mean your funkle!"

Now, that's rubbish. You know it, I definitely know it, but I say it. I almost always say it. It's a habit, and although it can sometimes be excruciating, it's better than, I don't know.. smoking.

Blimey, I'm distancing myself from readers with every line. ANYWAY, in a vain effort to scrape together some material for this (and under the assumption that, at first, I'm hardly going to be inundated with contributions) I'll post what I think are some of my punnery highlights.

I worked for a while with a wonderful, pun-appreciating Wicker-voiced chap named Morgan who sings and plays guitar in London-based thrash revivalists The Quarry. A while ago, they went on a short tour of the UK. I was giving him a lift from work one night and was asking him how it all went and what was in the pipeline. He wasn't greatly upbeat about it, as their bassist was leaving the band. I'm sure you won't be surprised when I tell you that marriage and actively touring in a metal band are not great bedfellows. This last set of gigs up and down the country would also be his last.

Right, that's the setup. Now, of course, there's going to be (with a lot of these) a sense of the dreaded "you had to be there" nause that all stories like this fall victim to, but I hope some of them will get the appreciation they (possibly) warrant.

SO! I said.. "You could say that was the tour that broke the camel's back."

Come on, that's good stuff! Oh whatever, Morgan LOVED it.
Please come back.