Cut!

That boy Murta has turned in another hairdresser's, this time in Manchester. He's pretty much got The North covered on his onesies!



Given the state of the prisoner's barnets in that particular movie, I'm not sure that's the best thing to call a barbers. But I'm pleased, obviously.

Get submittin'!

TFI Punday 9 - #BritshCelebs

After a week's break TFI Punday made a welcome return on Monday.

The topic was #BritishCelebs. A double edged sword in that any Twitter trending may have merely dissolved into children discussing their favourite X Factor reject, while others may have gone down the always hazardous racism route.

Thankfully neither of those reared their ugly head, and we were left with a select few delivering slices of fried gold. Let's see what we got:

Lethal Drizzle
Waterlooie Walsh
Pub Daddy
Emma Bunting
Fête Winslet
Raffle Benitez
Bingo Star
Gerard Butlins
Co-oprah Winfrey
Morris Day
Mr Tea
Warren BT Tower
Harrods Shipman
Cloudier Winkleman
Keanu Jeeves
Peter O'2
Enid Blighty
NHSther Rantzen
Monarchy Lewinski
Dustbin Hoffman
Sir Alan Sugarpuffs
Billy Colony
Rugby Wax
Landofhopeandgloria Hunniford
Laurence Datallyho!
Picalilli Allen
Sean Bea n' Q
Ryvita Hayworth
Curry Grant
Peter Stilton
David Cockney
Alesha Dixons
Darts Garfunkle
Roast MacGowan
Steve TheQueen

Tremendous work all round! All I come up with was Dinnerlady Gaga.

Must try harder.

Trios me a favour

Steve never just sends me a single pun. It's like bloomin' buses with him, and yet again, he's sorted me out a trilogy to show you today.



Music to my ears, that one! I love a bit of fish. There's a tremendous one just round the corner from here. If you're ever in the area, do let me take you there. Last time I went for a small cod there I got a large one and a knowing wink for no extra charge. That's the most sexually-loaded sentence you're likely to read on here, but I promise you it was all above board.



Here's an admission for you. I had no idea what clumping was, so I looked it up. Let's face it, clumping gold sounds like a review of a nice cup of tea in The North. "Cheers Barbera, that's clumping gold, that." Certainly not something you'd hear in the home of a sophisticat, you'd think.

And speaking of a nice cup of tea..



It certainly wood.

On a little side note, sorry about the lack of TFI Punday today. Having to get out of Butlins by 10am into torrential rain and a three hour drive home, combined with an internet signal so weak, it couldn't lift helium, decided today's fate. I apologise if you ended up actually having to work.

TFI Punday 8 - #ClothingSongs

I have a miniature dilemma. Next Monday I will be coming down from the high of spending three days at Butlins going beserk and watching several fantastic bands at a very high volume. I will try and sort out TFI Punday from the magic of my phone, but I am not making any promises.

I was considering winding down with it anyway. I don't want it to be the one reason anyone visits my small corner of the internet, but on the other hand I love the twinkling joy it's brought to so many people. We'll see how we go.

But this week was another stong one. #ClothingSongs provided some absolute beauties. Here's the pick of your fruitful bunch:

Immigrant Thong
Simply The Vest
Glove in an Elevator
Jumper Round
Shoes That Girl?
What I Go Cagoule For
Y-Frontin'
Sleeping With The Tights On
Blouse of Glory
We Will Frock You
Billie Jeans
I Would Do Anything For Love (Bowtie Won't Do That)
Everybody Skirts
Kings of The Y-Frontier
Window Slipper
Hard To Sandle
Scarf a World Away
Mitten on The Dock of a Bay
Smalls Like Teen Spirit
Parkalife
Gown Sugar
Burqas of You
Hat's Entertainment
High Heels! Silver Lining
Beenieround The World
Flares Your Head At?
Video Kilt The Radio Star
Everbo Tshirts
Sari Seems To Be The Hardest Word
Waders My Heart Feel So Bad?
When You Wish Apron a Star
Teenage Kecks
Barbour Black Sheep
Give Fleece a Chance
We Will Frock You
I Want Tutu Love Me
Trilby Comin' Round The Mountain
Nothin But a G String
Boob Tubular Bells
Pinny Lane
Tabard Days Night
Hey Big Suspenders
Wuthering Tights

Et moi:

Britches Aint Shit
Socks On Fire
Hoody You Think You Are?
Of Corset Fell Apart
Bowtie And The Beast

See you next week, perhaps.
Do keep reading and submitting though, eh?