Derren lies de problem

On a recent holiday to France I devoured my way through Derren Brown's book, Tricks of the Mind. (I reccommend it thoroughly - It's a terrific read, even if you're not necessarily a fan of Mr Brown's work).

Though heavily peppered with fascinating insights, amusing tales and general brilliance, there is one part towards the end that stuck most in my mind; and a trick, it isn't. I'm sure you don't have to be a psychic (I predict you aren't, seeing as they're bigger charlatans than Tim Burgess) to work out what it could be. Correct! It was the four of hearts! No, hang on..

Allow me to set the scene. Derren had been confronted by a balshy businessman in a hotel in Swansea. The chap went on to tell him that The Derek Acorah was just across the room in the very same hotel! This was all too much for Derren's new best mate, who took it upon himself to introduce them, casting himself as the ring announcer.

Right, scene successfully set, I'll let the author take it from here:

"That is not Derek Acorah." I laughed, transfixed.
"Yes it is. I'll go and get him. Hey!"
He was already heading across the ten yards of orange and brown carpet which separated me from the guy with the peroxide hair. I tried to call quietly, "No! Don't!" but he had already reached his target who was talking to a couple of colleagues.
A lot of things went through my mind in a very short space of time. One of them was Christing hell, that is Derek Acorah. Another was, Hide! I considered running (away from the prying fan and into the foyer, as it were).

I had to stop typing for a minute there so I could applaud it once again. That's even more impressive than not topping yourself on telly, in my humbles. Makes you sick, doesn't it? Not content with being genuinely brilliant, an incredible artist and hauntingly charming, he's gone and banged out what was arguably Pun of The Year (2006).

I'd tell him what I really think, but he probably already knows, the git.